Shifting Horizon Lines

I'm in the dreaming deep end. I'm contemplating the direction for my next adventure in life. I'm working through the details and exploring some different ideas.

The Black Swan (1942)

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Overarching goals

Authenticity

Community

Commitment

Reinvestment

Sustainability

I have ideas of what I want to build next for my life. Lately, I am spending much of my time exploring the different paths to get there.

I have glimpses of the next steps, but I don't feel like they've fully materialized yet. Whether they materialize internally or externally doesn't matter, but I know what it feels like when I am pushing myself or forcing a decision out of unrest. So, I'm trying to avoid that. There's nothing uncomfortable about where I'm at or what I'm doing right now, and my natural tendency is towards discomfort. My biggest conflict right now is the voice within that says jump. I think I'm trying to see how genuine it is and make sure it's not just a reaction to my comfortable discomfort.

I've felt a need for patience over the last few months. I think during this time I am being asked to more fully form what I want out of life. Formerly, I used what I was doing as a means to follow my dreams, and I could find contentment in it. I wallowed in the gratitude that I was able to follow any of my dreams at all. Now, I'm being challenged to let my dreams consume me. I don't see an option any longer to passively engage in the contrast of my former life. I'll move forward with the torch of gratitude, using it to light my way to more

I don't think anyone ever regrets dreaming too big. I think all regrets in life come from dreaming too small.

I think it's a lot like what drives me in life. It's all in perspective. A lot of people look at the cost of doing something. I'm not speaking monetarily here, I mean the inner cost. I always think about what it's going to cost if I don't do something. I think that regret is far more apparent to me. So, the past year has really had me dreaming of new possibilities. A lot of that time has also been spent trying to get buy in from my ego. I think that's the most challenging part of following any dream, getting past le olde gatekeeper. It takes time, but I always manage to sneak by.

I want to live a more integrated life. That's where the authenticity comes in. I've spent a lot of time in product management, and I've been incredibly lucky to learn from my roles there. Enough to realize that we're all products, really, and we all have something to give to one another. We're products of our environments, our inner landscapes, the people we surround ourselves with, and our choices. What if I could productize my life to share all that I've learned in a way that I'm truly passionate about- that's the question that's been on my mind. What would that look like? Well, it looks like small efforts to redirect my energy into answering that question.

I believe bringing more authenticity into all areas of my life will cascade into my other goals: community, commitment, reinvestment, and stability. Throughout my career, I was often left with the realization that I was capable of much more than my roles were providing. The general feeling that we're so much more than the rigid structures that have been built. It's become tedious and exhausting to compartmentalize my life, and my goal is integration on all levels. I think my life and work will become synonymous.

One thing I do know is that I always wish I would've put more trust into myself sooner. So, that's what I'm going to do this time. I'm going to let go and trust myself and my life completely.

The Lighthouse (2019)

I am in the middle of reverse engineering my life.

Currently inspired by

Hot coco & the impending chill